Rural Livin'

Refresher course in email lingo: listserv=a mailing list of any number of people tied together by interest or profession. Listserv thread=the theme or topic of numerous emails shared by listserv members.

Last week on PUBLIB, my favorite national listserv for public librarians (as opposed to school, academic, government, or medical librarians) the thread was “You know you are a rural librarian when…..”
It started out fairly tame, and then became a little snarky when a gentleman in Los Angeles chimed in. I think said gentleman used to be a public librarian. Now he researches contract issues and labor laws for a pipe-fitters union. I suppose he should just keep quiet since he doesn’t work in a library. However, he has a wicked sense of humor, so no one has thrown him out.

The first entries were truisms about small towns…..all the things that make us glad we live in one.
You know you are a rural librarian
1. If the only time you lock your car is during zucchini season.
2. A freckled face kid hands you a box with a bird, a bug or a snake inside and says “can you tell me what kind this is?”
3. UPS delivers to your home when the library is closed. And vice versa.
4. A dog wanders in the library and you call its owner instead of animal control.
5. Your genealogy materials are rarely used because everyone knows each other and their family history.
6. You carry bits of paper in your pocket when going to the grocery store, etc. because someone will stop you to ask a question or to reserve or renew a library book.
7. If you ask a new library patron for his/her phone number and are only given the last four digits.
8. A patron offers a dozen eggs or a homemade pie to cover a library fine.

We definitely would erase a library fine for a home-baked pie. Or a plate of just-out-of-the-oven cookies. It was interesting how regional some of the entries were:
You know you are a rural librarian if
1. Oregon : You can’t open the library dumpster because a bear jumped on it and smashed in the lid.
2. North Carolina: All public buildings are required to provide hitching posts.
3. Missouri: A patron has to pay for books he accidentally shot while shooting at a possum in his living room.
4. Kansas: A person pays for a library book because it fell into the sheep dip.
5. Georgia: You have a waiting list of folk who want to harvest pecans from the library’s trees.

After awhile, with the assistance of the Los Angeles guy, things definitely took a turn toward the Beverly Hillbillies kind of humor. Someone finally shut him up and the thread turned toward urban libraries.
You know you are an urban librarian if:
1. You know the price of plate glass mirrors because the ones in the library bathrooms keep getting etched with gang graffiti.
2. Your library fire extinguishers keep getting stolen since any graffiti artist knows you can spray much farther if you put the paint into an extinguisher.
3. The security guard points out that the meeting being held in the library meeting room is a local gang.
4. No one writes in library books since no one knows what they are.

I was never more grateful to be a rural librarian. Come on in to see us. If we don’t know your name, we will the next time.